There are few more exciting opportunities that one has in a business career than the chance to work overseas. Aside from the potential career benefits, the chance to experience different cultures and lifestyles is exciting and can be life-changing. Expat life will certainly have an impact on you and your relationships, one that can be either positive or negative.
Working abroad requires the employee to make adjustments. The workplace may be very different from the home office. The ways of doing business abroad vary, and the assumptions that one takes for granted at home need to be rigorously and regularly tested. If a partner or spouse accompanies the employee overseas, they too must make adjustments.
The partner will not have the same reinforcements that the working spouse will have, such as an instant circle of at least acquaintances (work colleagues) and a sense of purpose and challenge in the form of a new job. The non-working (trailing) spouse will need to define their personal mission and identity within unfamiliar surroundings. Oftentimes, their identity will be inextricably bound to that of their spouse or partner.
Here are some tips on maintaining your relationship while working abroad.
- In order to have success in an overseas business assignment, start planning well before arrival in the foreign country. In fact, I would advocate that the whole issue of mobility, national and international, is a focus of conversation before the actual work opportunity even arises. The partners should develop a shared understanding of their boundary conditions. What will they accept and not accept outright? And what are some contingency factors?
- They should jointly develop their goals for the assignment with metrics for success and sustainability techniques. I divide up the reasons for accepting an overseas assignment into 3 buckets – cash, culture, and career. There is no doubt that these assignments can be rewarding financially– but is that all there is to it? Doesn’t the chance to live and work in a totally different culture also feature as part of the value equation? So the couple should sit down and decide what THEIR value equation is and adjust their goals accordingly. If the main driver is culture, diary your experiences, catalog the physical journeys, capture every special moment you can at that time. If your goals are financial, track your progress toward personal financial goals. And if the primary objective is career advantage – diary the learning that each day brings.
- Above all – communicate, communicate, and then communicate some more! Spend intentional time with each other, be honest when times are tough, share the struggles, enjoy the special moments and, above all care for each other. Take time to make special occasions really exceptional and unique.
